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I love helping people grow. That, to me, is why I get enjoyment out of bookkeeping for small businesses. As soon as the business becomes more about growing profit rather than growing the person, I lose interest. My love of helping people is also the reason I get so much enjoyment out of working in a bike shop.
A lot of personal growth for me happened when I took up riding. It is incredible how much a little change in my life, i.e. the way I was commuting to and from work, has had on my outlook. When you are on your bike, you can’t get grumpy at trains running late, smelly people on crowded platforms, or traffic jams that have you groveling on the phone to your boss explaining that you might not be at the office on time again today. When you ride, you take control back into your own hands and learn to accept that sometimes, things go in your direction and other times they just don’t (wind for example), but it is pointless getting upset about it when the only thing you can do is to pedal faster or remember to pack a patch repair kit next time. Riding is something that doesn’t rely on other people in order to be fulfilling and fun. I have found that the amount of satisfaction I get out of it is in direct proportion to the amount of effort I put in and it is awesome meeting other people on the brink of making that discovery, being in a position to help and encourage so that they can experience some of the joy that I get to every time I clip into my pedals.
I find it even more rewarding or exciting helping the people who may not fit the stereotypical bike rider mold (fit young men in tights anyone?). I love the nervous ones, the middle age women who haven’t been on a bike since they were kids, the huge dudes that are terrified of going on a test ride because they are convinced the bike won’t be strong enough or the young women who walk in determined to prove that they are just as capable as their boyfriend/brother/father/uncle of riding a bike. I love watching as their body language slowly morphs from nervous, defensive and ready to flee when they enter the shop, to the trepidation as they wobble out their first test ride to the huge grin that creeps onto their faces as they come back in with a wondrous expression of relief and excitement at the new world they have just discovered. The high that look gives can last for hours.
I get the same sort of buzz from taking on a new bookkeeping client. As a new small business owner or work-at-homer, the mere thought of what all those bits of paper add up to and the horrifying prospect of trying to keep track of them let alone present them in an orderly fashion to the tax office can be overwhelming. I love that I have the opportunity to be there to calm them down, take them by the hand and lead them through it, reducing the big scary money gobbling monster into a simple filing and recording system. Phew! The feeling of relief when you realise that even though you are have made the decision to go it on your own, there is still plenty of help to be had is like having someone come over and in one big puff, blow all the fog away so you can see the beautiful view again. Having done it myself (although I think I was more nervous about the venture into bike riding than the decision to work for myself), I know all too well what it is like. I also now have the advantage of hindsight and with that, the knowledge that even if it all fails, the experience of taking that leap, be it jumping on a bike or starting a business, the giving it a go bit, is all worth it in the end. The trying part is for me, both the hardest and the most rewarding part.
So, what am I getting at? I guess I am reminding myself that no matter how ridiculously terrifying I have talked myself into believing something to be (Holy shit! What if I it all goes wrong?!), it will be worth it in the end. That sounds so cheesy. But I need the reminder. I still procrastinate over the smallest things to the point where I get nothing done because I have analysed it so much in my head that I no longer have any idea of where to begin. I let the fear of what will happen if I don’t meet up to expectations stop me from ever making a start, I worry obsessively of what other people will think, which, when it comes down to it, is completely absurd, not taking action is almost always going to be worse than not giving something a go at all and it is my life dammit I need to live it in a way that is acceptable to me.
It takes a while for these realisations to sink in sometimes :P. Now that it has I have decided to take action. I am doing this because I have been feeling like I have been in a bit of a rut and have been choosing the easy options in life far too often and while I could continue on along the same path of wandering mediocrity and going with the flow, I really do want more. So this week I laid out a challenge to myself to change my daily routine to be more productive. The challenge is to do all the stuff that I know I am capable of doing if I set my mind to it and to set me back on track to make my life something special, something that I can be proud of and something that builds me into the interesting and fun person I desperately want to be.
My personal challenge is going to go for 31 days (thanks Steve!) and is going to mean getting up early, regular exercise, three intensely focused working, studying or writing sessions a day, and having a portion of each day dedicated to doing something fun, creative and relaxing. To keep myself on track I have been recording everything – the time I wake up, how many hours of sleep I got, what sort of food I eat, even the weather (particularly significant this week as it has been hitting 40 degrees everyday! I thought Melbourne was supposed to be cold!), and anything else that comes to mind. I have also planned for rest days that are slightly less structured but also designed to be productive.
The aim of this challenge is to regain some of my self-discipline and give myself a more informed idea of what actually works well for me. I also plan on this being the first of many challenges that I want to put myself through this year and really, I lead a pretty privileged life, it would be crazy not to take advantage of it. For starters, I have the freedom and ability to make this decision! It is about time I step up and take a chance. When I finally got through to myself that the worst that could happen is that I would end up in living the life I am living now (and how utterly unappealing that is!) I figured it was time to jump into action. I may not be the best writer, the most studious of students or industrious of workers but there is no harm in trying to change that. Dwelling on fear of failure in not going to help. It is time I challenged myself, I am out of excuses.